


so now i never know the things to say to you

by fireflyingaway



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Alex Mercer Has Anxiety (Julie and the Phantoms), Alex Mercer Has Bad Parents (Julie and The Phantoms), Autistic Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), BUH-BAM, Bobby and Trevor Wilson are Different People, Everyone Is Alive, Everyone Is Gay, Gen, M/M, Minor Luke Patterson/Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms), Past Alex Mercer/Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Reggie Peters Has ADHD (Julie and The Phantoms), Screen Reader Friendly, Teen Angst, Trans Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), bc that's what this is, but first we whump, everything will be okay in the sequel, everything's rlly nice n sweet, i know there's a hurt/comfort tag but is there a comfort/hurt tag?, it's set in the past so hopefully that tag works, may add warning tags as needed, n then, u've been hit with the baseball bat of angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 15:40:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28655850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireflyingaway/pseuds/fireflyingaway
Summary: For as long as he could remember, all Luke Wilson-Paige ever wanted was to find his band so he could become a rock star, just like his dad is. He never expected that what he’d be finding would be something so much bigger— and he definitely couldn’t have predicted losing it all so quickly.Or alternatively, the life and death of Sunset Curve. (Except it’s a lot less literal and a little more heartbreaking.)
Relationships: Alex Mercer & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex Mercer/Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Alex Mercer & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters, Luke Patterson/Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

Luke doesn’t remember the first time the kid caught his attention, and he definitely doesn’t understand why the kid still has it. Maybe it’s because every time the bell rings he freaks out and cups his ears. Or it could be because the teachers occasionally talk to him at recess, trying to push him out to the yard to play with everyone else, only to give up minutes later. Or maybe it was just that strange for Luke to see a boy in his school— a boy he'd happen to pass by all the time— _that lonely_. One day he asked a friend about the strange boy that sat by himself at the lunch table;

“I tried talking to him a couple times and he would barely give me a word back and one time I invited him to my table and he said no. I'm pretty sure if he wanted friends, he could easily get some, but some people just prefer to be alone I guess,” she says with a shrug. He’s not satisfied with that answer, but he doesn’t push any further— and despite the lingering curiosity, he still doesn’t talk to the raven-haired boy.

This would all change after…

**HALLOWEEN, 2009.**

Luke finally loses it that night, seeing the kid on a swing in the park from across the street as he’s trick-or-treating with his friends. ”Wait here, I’ll be right back,” he tells them before going to sit by the kid with a quick hello. He only waves back, shrinking in himself a little and tightening his grip on the chain with the other hand as Luke sits on the swing beside him. “So, where’s your buddy?” Luke asks, earning only a questioning brow. “You know everyone needs a buddy— especially on Halloween. Then if you accidentally wander off and get lost, you won’t be on your own while fending off axe murderers.”

“Axe murderers?” He finally spoke, turning his head to look at Luke incredulously. “I don’t think there’s any axe murderers around here,” he pointedly decides, despite proceeding to look over his shoulder at the trees behind him, looking ready to bolt at a moment’s notice.

“I don’t think you can know _exactly_ where an axe murderer is,” Luke retorts, noting the little shiver going down the boy’s back as he continues to stare at the trees. “You know, if you want, I can be your buddy. I was already buddied up with Asher and Mara, but I’m feeling like a bit of a third wheel, so…”

For a moment, the boy looked at Luke with hope shining in his eyes, but then they went back to the ground. ”No thanks,” he answers, just barely above a whisper.

“So what then? You think you’re going to fend off those axe murderers by yourself?”

The boy shrugs, crossing his arms, speaking in a grumble; ”I can run fast…”

Luke has no understanding as to why this kid would choose to face off potential axe murderers alone over hanging out with him. It honestly offends him beyond belief. “Is it because you don’t know me?” The blank stare he gets in response gives him no answers, but he continues introducing himself; “My name is Luke Wilson-Paige. I'm ten years old, I'm in the fifth grade, and I'm in Mrs. Park’s class at Oak View Elementary. I have two dads and a little sister named Carrie. I want to be a rock star when I grow up, just like my dad is— I’ve been taking guitar lessons for like a year now and I think I’m pretty good at it, though I still have a lot to learn. So, uh, there. Now you know me.” Radio silence. “Really? _Nothing?_ ” Not a single word. ”You’re not gonna at least tell me your name?”

“I know what you’re trying to do, but please just stop it,” the boy finally says. ”I get that you think I’m a sad little loser and you feel bad for me, but I’ll have you know I’m perfectly happy being a loser, okay? It’s much better than being a pain,” his last sentence comes as only a mumble.

“What? I don’t think you’re a loser."

“Yeah, you do.”

“ _No, I don’t_. I think—” What did he think? Luke takes a second to mull it over, looking at the grass pensively before finding his answer. He looks back up to the boy with a grin from ear to ear; ”I think you’re a mysterious bad boy.”

His brows furrow as the single-worded question falls loose from agape lips; “What?”

Luke shoots up from the swing in his enthusiasm, walking up a little closer to the other boy. “Yeah, you’re like this cool, mysterious bad boy, sitting in the corner with your arms crossed,'' Luke mimics the actions explained, crossing his arms and adding a little pout to his lips. “All brooding. People try to talk to you and you push them all away—” his arms uncross and shoot out, for dramatic effect “—because you don’t want to hurt anyone with your dangerous, rebellious ways.” Luke looks at the boy for a second, worried he might be going a little too far, but is only encouraged when he sees the boy failing to bite back a smile, a little snicker coming through with it. So he pushes on, going more over-the-top by the second;

“Everyone looks your way and they ask themselves: what’s his deal? What dark secrets is he hiding behind his cool, carefree act?” Luke kneels down a little in front of his swing, looking at him intently as the lip bite breaks and the laughter comes through— an infectious melody carrying through their interaction. Luke tries to resist losing his tone and laughing along. “Is he a criminal?” A little chuckle creeps through his lips “Is he a vampire?” He finally breaks down, voice shaking from laughter on the last line. “Is he running from the government?”

And for the next few seconds, the two are little more than a fit of giggles.

Luke’s breath is short and his cheeks are hurting. “C’mon, bad boy,” he breathes out, “tell me your secrets.”

The boy hesitates— eyes bearing into Luke’s very soul— gauging whether it’s worth the risk (whatever those risks are). Luke doesn’t dare break the silence, accepting the intrusion full-force and hoping with everything in him that he doesn’t end up drowning. Whatever he finds through it, Luke assumes the best of it when he smiles, finally giving in; “My name’s Reggie. I’m also ten, but I’m turning eleven in a week! I’m in the fifth grade, and I go to Oak View too, but I’m in Mr. Lee’s class. I have a little sister named Alice, and another one on the way— she’s due around Christmas, so Mom’s thinking of naming her Holly or something. I’m by no means a mysterious bad boy— I’m just weird and annoying. But I mean, if you don’t mind, I could really use a buddy.”

All Luke has left to do is hold out his hand, which the boy— _Reggie_ — is quick to take, and they’re off trick-or-treating.

* * *

It turns out Reggie isn’t the quiet type and Luke is wondering if this is actually the same kid he talked to on the swingset. It doesn’t feel possible; from house to house, Reggie talks a mile a minute about anything under the sun. _Just an hour ago, he was barely talking at all_. Luke assumes he must’ve pulled a rock from the dam and now the whole world is being flooded with—

“I’m sorry, am I talking too much? Mom always scolds me for talking too much; she says if I keep talking on and on and on like I do that I’ll just keep ending up with my foot in my mouth which is a really weird thing to say because that’s never happened to me _once_ like really Mom? You think I’m just gonna trip and somehow land my _foot_ all the way up into my _mouth_ ? I feel like that’s something I’d have to put some real _effort_ into, but why would I make any effort to do that? That’s _disgusting_! I don’t know, have you ever ended up with your foot in your mouth?”

“Never! But Mrs. Park tells me that all the time too.”

“Really? So adults just say that to kids?”

“I guess.”

“But why?”

“Who knows why adults do anything, Reg?”

“It’s a figure of speech,” Bobby Rivera interrupts the conversation in a tone that makes the statement sound a little like a question. Luke constantly hangs onto his every word because he’s in middle school and therefore knows _everything_. “It means you’re going to say things you regret.”

“Oh! Oh yeah, I do that a _lot_ …”

“Wait, if _that’s_ what they mean, then why don’t they just say that?” Luke asks. 

Bobby takes a moment to think before finally answering, “Who knows why adults do anything?”

And the dam flows on, but Luke doesn’t want to put the rock back. With Reggie’s words flowing out for all the world to hear, Luke feels like he can let his own dam break a little.

Once all the houses on the block shut off their lights and stop giving out candy, Luke takes Reggie back to his place to divide up their stash;

_“Where’s your candy bag?” Luke had asked as they were walking up to the first house, and one of Reggie’s hands was suddenly to his forehead._

_“I knew I forgot something,” he said through gritted teeth._

_“Don’t worry about it, we can share.”_

_And every house they passed by, Luke insisted they put double the amount in his bag, because he was carrying for two._

Reggie lets Luke have all the fruit gummies and Luke lets Reggie have all the peanut butter cups. Afterwards, they sit in the living room to watch a movie and snack on their new goodies. A little ways in, there’s a knock on the door— Luke lets Dad answer it, because Dad doesn’t like it when he tries to answer the door at night— and then a strange woman joins them in the living room.

“Reginald Ignatius Peters,” both boys wince on the spot at the utterance of **_the full name_** , immediately turning to who Luke assumes is Reggie’s mom. “Where have you been?” She asks, walking closer to him, “you had me worried sick.”

“You and dad were being loud again.” Luke's mind flashes to Reggie covering his ears when the bell rang. Luke had his days where the bell was too much to, but for Reggie to cover his ears _every single time_?

The mother sighs, “I know sweety, I’m sorry. I’m trying my best to keep it from happening, but you know how your father is,” she grumbles and Reggie’s expression goes unreadable. “Just don’t scare me like that again, alright? And make sure you take Alice when you go trick-or-treating next year okay? Luckily, she still had Aunt Mary to take her, but she was really looking forward to being with you.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, sweetheart. C’mon, let’s go home.”

On their way to the front door, Reggie asks Luke, “can we hang out again sometime?”

Luke looks to his dad pleadingly. “As long as it’s okay with his mom,” the man says, and suddenly all eyes are on her.

“Well, you’re grounded tomorrow for running off without a word and missing curfew, but after that... I don’t see why not.” Reggie beams up at her and she ruffles his hair a little before continuing on about Reggie’s birthday party on the eighth and how she’ll be certain they get an invitation.

After that Halloween, Luke and Reggie quickly became inseparable. Every time the boys were outside of class, they would be sitting side by side at the lunch table, or goofing off in the park, or playing video games at Luke’s place. Reggie would continue talking a mile a minute about anything under the sun and occasionally, when the topic _really_ caught Luke’s attention, he would go rambling on too. Eventually, Reggie would grow out of his chatterbox phase, but he and Luke wouldn’t stop sitting side by side.

~~Not until the day Luke would leave without a goodbye.~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't remember who came up with reggie's middle name being ignatius but i love them and would like to credit them so if anyone else knows please tell me so i can provide credit where due for this _gem_.  
> title credits to _all signs point to lauderdale_ by **a day to remember**  
>  my beta reader saved my fic and also my life so everyone say thank you [alyssa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtomicSimplicity)


	2. Chapter 2

**February 3rd, 2011**

“So, why don’t you introduce yourself to the class?” Mr. Albertson says to the new student now standing beside him that clearly wants _nothing_ to do with this. Luke always found the off-white of the school floor to be an awful color, but apparently, the new kid’s _mesmerized_ in it, giving a small raise of his hand with eyes still glued there.

“I’m Alex.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Alex. Where are you from?”

Alex tries to look towards Mr. Albertson, but only makes it to his kneecaps. He must be very, very angry at his kneecaps. “Scottsdale,” he answers before stage-whispering, “can I _please_ sit down now?”

“Just a second,” he muttered back to Alex before looking at the rest of the class. “I expect you all to make sure Alex feels welcome here. Now, if any of you would like to show him around a little—” Luke’s hand shoots up at rocket speeds. Mr. Albertson gives a small sigh through his nose before asking, “Yes, Luke?”

“I can do it.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not? Me and Reggie will be _great_ tour guides!”

“Him too?” Mr. Albertson sighs, pressing two fingers to the bridge of his nose. “If you want to do it, I’m not going to stop you, but _please_ try not to get him into trouble, okay? It’s his first day, he doesn’t need his own _zoo incident_.”

“We’ll keep out of trouble,” Luke promises. He then puts his hand back down, crossing his arms and grumbling, “those gorillas had it coming, though.”

“Alright, so that’s settled, then. Any other questions for the new kid?” The kid in question looks like he’s just been stabbed, but Mr. Albertson doesn’t seem to notice, calling on a classmate with her hand raised.

“What’s it like in Scottsdale?” She asks as if she’s actually wondering. Luke doesn’t understand why anyone would care about that, really. It wasn’t some distant land, it was _Scottsdale_.

Alex doesn’t know why she’d care either, Luke assumes, from the way he throws his arms up in an over-exaggerated shrug, phrasing his answer more like a question; “I don’t know, hot.”

“Okay, you know what Ruby? That was the perfect question to end things on. You can sit down now, Alex.”

“ _Thank you_ ,” he nearly _hisses_ before fleeing to his desk.

The rest of the class was boring and uneventful, as usual. Every once in a while Luke would feel a set of eyes boring into him that happened to be in the direction the new kid was sitting. But every time Luke would look to check it out, Alex would be watching the teacher or burying himself in the textbook or staring aimlessly in the opposite direction.

Once class is over, the rest of the students rush out to the hallway while Luke bounces off to Alex’s desk. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah.”

“Ok, we’re gonna have to pick up Reggie in his class first, but that shouldn’t be—” Luke doesn’t realize he’d grabbed Alex’s hand without thinking about it until the hand is yanked away from him. Alex looks at Luke like he’s just been burned. “I-I’m _so_ sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s fine,” Alex insists, and what strikes Luke about it is that he doesn’t sound upset but he also doesn’t sound like he’s being entirely honest. Something in his face… reminds Luke of himself. He remembers the times he’d want to raise his hand and ask the teacher a question, but he wouldn’t because he didn’t want everyone thinking he was stupid. _Is that what this was?_

“So, we’re going to pick up your friend?” Luke feels like Alex has more to ask than that, but he won’t push. He just nods and then the pair are off without another word.

The minute Luke gets to the door and sees that Reggie isn’t there waiting outside of it, he checks inside the classroom. Just as expected: Reggie sits at his desk, a little pout on his face as he squints at it like he can’t see it. Every once in a while, he looks up at Mr. Hall, who’s speaking to him, and he nods; but whenever the teacher looks away, Reggie rolls his eyes.

Soon enough, Reggie happens to catch Luke through the window, with Alex beside him. He gives them an enthusiastic wave and a goofy, metal-clad smile. Luke waves and smiles back, but eventually Mr. Hall catches him too and his smile turns sheepish as his hands rush to his back pockets.

“He’ll be out in a minute,” he tells Alex, leaning back on the wall beside the door. “Can I have your schedule? So I’ll know where we’re heading next.”

As he looks through the schedule, he still feels Alex watching him. “Your next class isn’t too far from here, so that’s nice,” he mutters as his eyes dart up to Alex, who is now very pointedly looking away. It feels like some sort of game he’s playing— a game Luke doesn’t know the rules to. Why does he keep looking away?

Luke’s taken off track by the sound of Reggie’s voice; “Hey, Luke! Who’s this?” He asks, looking mostly at Alex.

“That’s Alex, he’s new, we’re his tour guides.”

“Oh, cool! Where are we headed?” He looks over Luke’s shoulder to find out. “Nice, you got Ms. Connelly! She’s the best. She reads Shakespeare in _really_ funny accents, you’ll _love_ her!” He gushes to Alex, whose gaze darts back and forth between Reggie and Luke as if the two are merging together before his very eyes.

“Okay… I’m sorry, can we go now? I’d rather not be late to any classes on my first day.”

“Really? But if you tell them you got lost, they’d actually accept that! This could be your _one chance_ to be _excused_ for being late!” Luke, personally, would jump for that chance and hold onto it for as long he could, but… “Oh well, suit yourself.”

As they walk to Alex’s locker, Luke still feels the stare while talking to Reggie, but every time he turns to talk to Alex a little, the other boy acts as if he hadn’t been paying attention. As they take Alex from class to class, every time, Luke feels the stare. Reggie’s completely oblivious; babbling on endlessly with his river of words as he always does, unaware of the steel blue eyes shooting at them that Luke can’t shake off. It’s on their way to the cafeteria that Alex finally says it:

“So what are you, gay or something?”

Luke’s head spins to Alex so fast and so hard he almost gets whiplash, but there’s hardly any focusing on the dizziness after a statement like _that_. Reggie opens his mouth to answer. Luke gets in before he can; “Would that be a problem?”

Alex’s hands raise in surrender. “No, no, not at all! It’s just… you know… are you?”

Luke suddenly realizes he’d never really thought about it before. “Are we?” He asks Reggie.

“Um… I don’t— I don’t _think_ so. I’m pretty straight, but I mean… maybe a little? That feels like something for _high school_ Reggie and Luke.”

“Yeah, we’ll let _high school_ Reggie and Luke figure that out,” Luke immediately agrees, turning back to Alex. “Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know, it’s just… I don’t know.”

Luke’s not buying it, and he says as much.

“It’s just…” Alex groans in frustration, shrinking in on himself. “You’ve been really, _really_ nice to me for no particular reason, and you’re really touchy-feely, and-and you’ve been holding Reggie’s hand pretty much every time I've seen you with him, and isn’t that… weird? Like, _really_ weird? Two boys just… walking down a hall… _holding hands_?”

Luke hadn’t really processed that he was holding Reggie’s hand until Alex said something about it. “I don’t know, maybe. I don’t really think about it,” he admits, “what’s _weird_ or _normal_. I mean, I’ve _always_ been the weirdo kid, so it doesn’t really matter to me.”

There’s this awkward moment of stillness in the air. And then, a quiet little ‘okay’ creeps out from Alex and the trio are off to lunch without another word about it.

After a hearty meal of mystery meat, when the trio is on their way to Alex’s next class, Alex suddenly takes hold of Luke's hand. Another spell of dizziness hits when Luke looks down at their hands before staring up at Alex, who tries to keep the conversation going coolly despite the fact that his free hand is shaking like a leaf. And when Alex looks at him almost pale with nerves, Luke’s quick to offer an encouraging smile as the conversation goes on.

Soon enough, Luke and Reggie’s dynamic duo is more of a three musketeers sort of situation. With Alex, their little squad feels complete; Luke and Reggie drag their trio into trouble and, on occasion, Alex is the one to get them out. He’d continue to ask Luke a lot of questions; it was almost like the more answers he got the more questions he asked.

 _“Wait, you have_ multiple _dads?”_

_“Two,” Luke answered, two fingers raised at him for emphasis._

_“And no moms?”_

_“I mean, I probably have one_ somewhere _, but I don’t know where I’d even_ start _looking and I like my family how it is.”_

_“Are your dads married, though?”_

_“To each other, yeah.”_

_“Wait, what? That’s legal?!”_

_“Luckily_ here _it is,” Luke replied with a roll of his eyes, prompting Alex to ask a few more questions about what_ that _meant._

Luke never minded a curious nature though. Alex was a sponge; soaking it in, holding every word to his heart, never asking the same question twice— _nothing_ like Luke, whose attention span would so suddenly blackout sometimes that he’d have to ask a question three times before the answer stuck. But Alex, his eyes would _shine_ with every new revelation— a clear blue sky shifting into a glittering ocean— and Luke couldn’t mind his curious nature.

One day, the questions would randomly stop and Luke wouldn’t realize it had happened until a good few months had passed since he could last remember one. Luke wouldn’t understand why Alex asked so many questions for a long, long time, but the day he would…

That day would come to change everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title credits to _all signs point to lauderdale_ by **a day to remember**  
>  my beta reader saved my fic and also my life so everyone say thank you [alyssa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtomicSimplicity)


End file.
